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For the sake of learning speech therapy, teaching and perhaps nursing, i should leave a place that would teach me only paperwork all the time. I've no interest in medicine anymore. These 7 months are really precious to me, to try all the things that Im interested in and find out what i really want as my career.
even though i still have to work for 2 weeks after tendering my letter and the fact that it would be a tough 2 weeks, i really dont mind already. my workplace has let me seen a rather bad species of people, attitudes and a tough environment for almost 2 months. At the end of Feb, i would have survived for 2.5 months. Given the old me, i would have quitted after 1 week.
i tried to like my work, i've tried very hard to put a smile to everything even if i face challenges. im tired of not being myself already. i should be helping people, not faking my smile just because im a 'service ambassador' to people who need the magical slip of paper, called MC.
hence, im really quitting. and i cant wait.
i seriously think that after i volunteer at government hospitals, i'd find a GP clinic even more meaningless. im praying super hard that i'll get a speech therapy attachment at SGH.
and i got cheated of my pay. SO MUCH FOR BEING A PUBLIC LISTED COMPANY. tmd.
AND IM HAVING A SLEEPLESS NIGHT AGAIN THINKING ABOUT MY LIFE.
im standing at a crossroad & i really hate it.
while kingofshorties is rejecting overseas universities, im still wondering if i can even get into NUS.
no money & low chance of getting scholarship = no need to study speech pathology/dietitics in UK/Australia
brains are not good enough + cannot stand constant studying = no need to apply for NUS medicine
study physiotherapy/occupational therapy in s'pore = go nanyang poly for 3 years first = deemed as failing A'levels by many = mum will get heart attack
so that leaves me with nursing, my recent interest (i've no idea why). BUT my current impression of nursing is filled with admin and paperwork. YUCK.
so after healthcare is teaching. im gonna teach secondary school or JC chemistry. this sounds a lot more hopeful but this means i've to get into NUS School of Sciences, which i totally ignored during the open house -.- And i just chucked the NTU brochure on math & physical sciences to one corner.
last choice: study psychology at FASS = mum will get heart attack
if i cant get into healthcare or teaching, there's nothing else i want to do. I CANT STAND OFFICE ENVIRONMENT & PEOPLE, im sorry to say.
HAIII. my future is bleak.
i shall type a separate blog entry to thank the special people for making 19th birthday a simple yet memorable one.
for 18 years of my life, my birthday wishes always revolve around myself & they come true most of the time. but im 19 now, i've grown up, so i made a wish for the people i really care for. i hope it really comes true. im happy & very much contented with my life already, there's nothing more i really want to ask for.
nevertheless, i'll still keep my new year resolution in mind- to choose & do the things i really want.
"good morning sir/mdm"
"are you under company?"
"which company?"
"please fill in your particulars & sign here"
"thank you, take a seat"
"hi sir/mdm, this is for throat inflammation, take 1 tablet 3 times a day. this is for cough, take 2 spoons 3 times a day, it may cause drowsiness. this is your antibiotics, take 1 tablet twice a day & complete this medication. thank you"
WTH. this is my life.
every day, i help to do urine test. im an expert at it already so i do all the urine tests now. i use up 749271482 handtowels & gloves every day yuckkkk. the sanitizer is now my best friend (: according to the bill, each urine test costs $5. hence im supposed to earn quite a lot each day by just doing that, but i dont. this is called CHILD LABOUR. im underpaid!
okay but im very happy today! met up with vicki & eugene for dinner & caught up with each other. it's so fun to talk to my good friends again :D remember 22/01 YAY celebrate my birthday (: after talking to vicki, i realise working on sat isn't really that bad, coz this woman works every day -.- it's alright, i like her job actually, childcare teacher (: as for eugene, happy doing the same kind of things that i do every day, be a urine-test expert! :D :D
i couldn't resist shopping again. i went giordano to buy a pair of jeans coz i have a pair but i cant fit into them ROAR. jingyi, dont laugh. SHOPPING makes me so much happier, coz i was so sad that i need to work tmr. i've finished spending the share of my salary for january's "fun, joy & laughter", hence for the next 2 weeks, i shall not spend on any more stupid things. as for the floral top that i saw at bugis, i shall wait till feb then i'll get it :D WAIT FOR ME!
tomorrow it's lunch with shann & jingyi! :D :D
1. SHOP
2. eat good food with my good friends & chat in the night as if i've no work the next day
3. play with my cousins
4. finish up the 1,000,000 random things on my to-do list
5. get my salary. give my mother money.
6. eat dinner with my relatives
7. go back hwachong take my bio notes and purple socks (if they're still there -.-)
8. continue to not dream about results
9. volunteer at hospital/kids centre
10. to wake up on a weekday & realise that i dont have to work
so much stuff to do, so little time!
i actually feel bored at ogilvy these few days. something is very wrong, or maybe i've gotten used to the crowd. today i told my nurses that im a frog in a well coz i've never been to the other branches to work. only my colleagues know me, the rest of the staff dont, hence im the ogilvy girl already. it's alright we received compliments from a company yesterday so i was in a good mood, even though i've no idea that people from that company came. today a patient told us that he's damn happy coz he's not gonna die. LOL WTS if he's gonna die, he would be at a hospital, not a clinic, worry so much for what. yesterday there were a lot of nice patients, including one that volunteered to help me flip the open/close door card and he told me to rest instead. LOL!!
as much as there are nice patients, there are really stupid ones. a stupid patient scolded me over the phone coz our doctor was on MC hence she cant continue her MC for today. really i can control when my doctor is on MC -.- this woman just wants an 1 more MC and she dont want to pay extra. STUPID LEH. who the heck can just call the doctor & ask for 1 more day of mc without consulting again. working adults ought to face up to their working blues. come on i have working blues every day & im still alive & coughing hard. whatever la so i just let her vent her anger over the phone and rolled my eyes after that.
i hope my permanent doctor continues to be on MC hahahaha coz i like the doctors on duty today (: they're nice & friendly, they speak to you politely over the phone & say 'thank you', they're patient when they have to repeat drug names to you they're YOUNG, & MOST IMPORTANTLY, they have legible & neat handwriting. seriously, today was the ONLY day that i could make out all the handwriting :D
okay the hospital course was boring so i ended up chit-chatting and knowing a new friend. this student attachment is not bad, at least there are courses to attend & we can follow the doctor around next time. im just pissed that im made to be a frog in the well. oh and we can leave work early for it!! it ended rather early today so i went to shop at bugis. i really cant resist shopping. i saw a top for 18 bucks but i've spent enough at bangkok so i put it back. ):
lifern i like your clinic environment, it's so much like home!
HAI i feel like taking a 1-week break, go out every day and spend time with my good friends, buy the stuff that i like & go around eating good food. although lessons suck, but school is definitely a good place, to strengthen friendships.
i hate the 力不从心 feeling ): alright from feb onwards, every week i shall meet up with a good friend (:
i always thought i'll just be earning money & having a job for fun for this period of time. im as tired & stressed out as school days. at least i can get out of my clinic every week for hospital training. that's like having a CCA which i can look forward to. nevermind, i'll still look for hospital attachments in the meantime coz that's what i really want.
jingyi let's swop places. i wanna stay home!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
2010 would be a year of making choices hence i only have one new year resolution.
to choose & do the things i really want.
i shall not do any photo montage this time round, coz im lazy to do so HAHAHAHA. but im happy & thankful to have my family & loved one(s) still with me and that i never gave up on things & people who are important. as for my good & close friends, both crescent & hwachong, you guys know who you are, thanks for being sensitive & understanding people (:
alright time to sleep (:
xmas + bangkok = 2 kg
new year + genting = 2 kg
total = 2 + 2 = 4 kg
of fat mass, not muscle. i shall run more in my clinic. okay i've no work till 6jan, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE that's one week im so happy!!!!!! :D actually today's alright, i think im used to nasty adults already. seeing black faces every day is a norm to me already, no niaoing intended, thank you (: anyway, giving myself motivation first thing in the morning works, hence i was happy during work today :D one of my nurses said im rather quiet LOL quite funny, in school im loud & noisy but at work im like some frightened mouse. it's normal coz i take time to get used to working adults whom i've rarely interacted with, other than my holiday jobs.
haiii i miss my carefree days of having fun in school, scream like a mad woman, sleep whenever i feel like it, mug when i have to, while my time away with my crescent friends, chat for hours with close ones, laze around at people's houses and shop though we dont need to buy anything. it's good being a student, really. OMG AND 45CTS EZ-LINK TRANSPORT WILL SOON BE GONEEEEEEEEEE!!! this is a huge burn in my pocket coz i have to travel every day. nevermind, im 18 years old, it's time to stop acting like a kid. since i look like a kid (aunties think im in pri 6 -.-), it cant be helped.
alright im in a good mood. and i can sleep late with no worries :D :D :D
4 days flew past just like that. it's back to reality, back to work, back to my tiredness every day. maybe every mornning when i wake up, i should tell myself that to be happy at work. i had the thought of quitting & not sign the 6-month contract. actually it's not that i hate my work, just that i could be doing something more meaningful? ah i dont know i dont really want to think so much anymore. it beats being jobless, i think i'd feel worse. maybe if my manager lets me work at other branches, i'd feel better.
perhaps i should have more life each day. the past 2 weeks, i've just been going home after work & rest coz i just feel so drained. OKAY. at least there's genting trip next week :D
perhaps it was the very short break after As that made me feel so drained & sian of my work, especially when most of my friends are still playing & enjoying life. nevermind, i needed the money to go overseas.
my sister's teacher told her this, which i felt was very true.
it's not about making the right choice, it's about making your choice right.
hence i shall find meaning in my work.
coz im not very passionate about medicine.
it's diet/nutrition & health sciences that i want to study next time & im very sure about that. sometimes, working in a clinic at CBD area makes the practising of medicine rather pointless. to be honest, i dont see the point of treating so many people who are just plain tired to work. having acne also needs MC & money claims?!?! how about i skip work coz of the pimple on my cheek. ever since young, i always thought that the main point of being of a doctor is to help those who really need it. maybe it's just my belief. im very sure i want to help children & elderly. my current work makes whatever that im doing very pointless, hence i dont feel a strong sense of finding more about medicine. i just feel sian.im learning more of service & smiling, rather than how to help people. in fact, i only wanted to have fun at internship, learn about the basics of medicine. i guess if the patients im facing are kids & elderly, no matter how stressful the environment is, i will still want to learn.
a dietician came to see the doctor the other day. when i saw her occupation, my eyes sprang up immediately. i had like a million questions i wanted to ask her, but i couldnt coz she's a patient afterall. even though my clinic doctor talks to me quite a few times in a day, i've like, nothing to ask her. i cant think of anything to ask but the ultimate reason is that, there isnt a WANT to ask her anything.
maybe after i go to the other branches of clinics to intern, i may have a change of view when there's a different work environment that suits me better, i hope. but i must admit that whatever im learning now is useful, whether or not i like medicine. the stressful environment that im at pressures me to learn fast. yes i get stressed out easily but i think as time goes by, i would be used to it. no matter how used i would be to white-collar workers in the future, i know that i want to work in a hospital next time & get in touch with kids/elderly.
hai life's sad at times when you're suay.
when highly stressed out working adults visit an overwhelmed clinic with highly stressed out doctor & nurses because they wanna escape from work, the whole clinic becomes a highly stressed out & serious place. for a girl who's only 1.58m tall, feeling drained from TOTM & cannot survive in serious environments, i think she'll die.
HAIII i envy pinyan & yisan a lot ): pinyan says her clinic got a lot of bonding time between staff & she feels very slack & relaxed coz not a lot of patients & the staff are very sociable. yisan says she's also damn slack, even got time to tour around at different clinics with the nurse. wth so good im damn envious. everyone in my clinic are all so stressed out & tired, when there's any free time like lunch they'll just rest or have their own time, no interaction, SIAN, so not my style. when it's back to work, it's super serious again & they're damn fast in doing everything. good for patients, bad for me coz i've to be like them. and i still havent experienced the days with 100 plus patients OMG that will confirm be before xmas next week. hai working adults should just face up to their monday blues & not escape from work by getting mc. aiya whatever im guilty of that too when i pon school, just that i pon in the middle of the week so it's less suspicious HAHAHAHA.
1st day of work ytd: i was flustered, no doubt. coz so many people were streaming in between 9 to 11am & i dunno how to do almost everything. i bet they all dont want to work that's why they all come at that time -.-
today: i got the hang of things already. and because of that, there's more stuff to do so im still tired. today i filled up KMnO4 into bottles MUAHAHAHA i didnt break stuff unlike in school labs. that's like the very few things that seem like a 'friend' to me in my very serious working environment coz everything's unfamiliar. hmm other than paracetamol :D
alright tmr is a less busy day. im gonna fight a war on thu & fri when people come in again to take mc for a long weekend -.-
when prom ends, it'll take a really long time before i start meeting up with school friends, other than my really good friends. had interact xmas dinner on sunday, celebrated bearyap's birthday, which means we wont see each other very soon :\ maybe it isn't so bad for frisbee, coz there's still genting trip, i hope i can go!! 'next' outings always seem very far away. jingyi's going overseas for 1 month & i wont see her until next year omg :\ work's starting next mon, to be honest, i feel sian that i've to work coz that's when my days will start being packed up like mad. as people go out to work, guys go ns, there would be fewer outings. perhaps it's time to focus on more important stuff that you may have missed out in the past 2 years (:
HAVE FUN AT YOUR TRIP LIUBAOBAO! I'LL THINK OF YOU AT 11:11 EVERYDAY! :D
HAVE FUN SARAH! I WANT KOREAAAAA PRESENT WHEEEEEEE :D
Im so tired of walking around to shop already, omg i cant believe i just said that. Shopping makes me damn sian now -.- n i kept chanting to xmei today: so angry, no money!!! Everything's overpriced, heels cost 100+ bucks, some normal bangle's 20 bucks -.- staying home's the best, eat get fat also nevermind coz no need to go out embarrass yourself, no need to think of what to wear. Just, be yourself. Omg that makes a good new year resolution.
'party' at yingting's house was awesome :D really enjoy my time whenever there's class outing at her place :D okay we shouldn't watch sad shows next time, go back to horror :D
End of As, so many things to do, so many things to settle, so many thing to think about. Im gonna learn how to buy the correct stuff from the wet market, not supermarket :D im gonna learn how to choose fish, i think that's the hardest. Im gonna learn how to cook 50% of the dishes that my mum knows how to cook and refuses to learn cooking pig trotters in vinegar coz they totally suck. And lady fingers Yuck!! Im gonna convince my mum to let me cook full meals from now on,without help at all. Bet she wont. Im suddenly more interested in cooking than shopping. And im gonna learn to make different desserts. Yea man i think my life's more meaningful this way than planting tomatoes and strawberries on facebook's farmville :) n im seriously gonna learn malay coz it's quite easy. Scare the hell outta people who think im really one Hahahahaha :D
So much stuff to think about also. I really wanna hide home from now on :/ okay im tired i wanna sleep. I still need energy to hunt for prom stuff roarrrr
- Mood:
lazy
HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA
i bought my prom dress im so happy i love my prom dress WOOHOOOOOOOOO
the 2 shades of purple that i love very very much are both in 1 dress :D
and i can wear the dress in 3 different ways :D
- tube, toga, and errrr a bit sarong-like. DONT NIAO. i think it's damn nice :D
and it's only 50 bucks! :D
im going mad. im damn happy :D
but the dress's tight-fitting kind. ROAR i cant eat a lot that day. nvm shall breathe in lots.
and i finally bought the flats & bag that i've wanting to buy for 4927987234 years. i spent 80 bucks in all today. hence i feel very accomplished.
okay tmr morn i shall do more housework & burn more fats. life is awesome. i love shopping (:
